THE BOX OFFICE

[tellthestory]

This is where you can meet privately with the Balladeer! The Balladeer is almost always around during the day; just knock.

(Secretly, the door's usually not locked if he's inside. But you wouldn't want to be rude, would you?)

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Comments

[trettende]

[ You can have that irritation right back, buddy. No one's around so he doesn't have to play nice. ]

We haven't killed each other yet, I hardly see how some light refreshments would do such a thing.

[tellthestory]

Hm. You run with fancier crowds.

[He looks Hans over. Look at that, veracity.]

I'll think about it. If you get someone to keep an eye on the kids around it. I'm not in a position to be enforcing any drinking laws here, but I can't get a doctor if they have too much.

[trettende]

[ I mean, fair. Royalty. ]

Barring the pirates, we have a police inspector and plenty of responsible adults between us, I'm sure we can be trusted to keep children from being irresponsible. [ He shrugs. It's almost like he's a different person, so sure of himself. ] You gave us matches and we haven't burned this place down, it's the same idea.

[ Wait a tick. ]

If there are no doctors, what happens if someone gets injured?

[tellthestory]

[He snorts.] Right, the Inspector. As long as he doesn't try arresting anybody.

I guess you guys would have to figure it out. There's not that many ways to accidentally hurt yourselves in here. And I'm not supposed to interfere in anything purposeful.

[trettende]

Not like he'd have anywhere to put them, this is already basically a jail.

[ Inspector Javert is a really nice tool, very predictable. So nice to have around. ]

So if someone had an accident, you could help us, but if someone orchestrated the accident, you would not?

[ Haha, see what he did there? ]

[tellthestory]

[Oh my god]

Basically. If you set someone up to have an accident, that's still murder. Though honestly, seeing someone actually survive a murder attempt would be really inspiring...

[He considers it, then shrugs.]

I don't know, maybe I could work something out. Don't count on it.

[trettende]

[ Good to know, good to know. Hans nods steadily. Plans are happening. Maybe. As a last resort, y'know. But there's none of that outrage he'd normally show at this kind of talk. ]

I'll keep that in mind, then. If it comes to that... Which it hopefully won't.

[ Then again the Balladeer wants a murder so who knows. ]

So, what's the verdict on the champagne?

[tellthestory]

Right. I'm sure you will.

[Ugh. This guy. He helped write all the profiles, friend, he's not utterly oblivious.]

Fine, whatever. I'll leave some in the kitchen sometime. But this isn't gonna be a regular thing, I'm not your alcohol fairy. [Nonetheless, it'll be surprisingly good quality when it does happen to appear.]

[trettende]

[ If he kills everyone, how will people know he's super awesome? ]

Excellent! Thank you for that.

[ Reasonable requests: confirmed. Definitely no way to weaponize this... ]

[tellthestory]

You're welcome. Is there anything else...?

[trettende]

Not right now. I'll let you know if I think of something.

[ Bye, bro. Hans turns around before he gets an idea-- ]

Oh, wait. If you work here, does that mean you get to leave? You're not stuck here with the rest of us, are you?

[tellthestory]

[The Balladeer cocks his head quizzically.]

I don't have anywhere else to go.

[trettende]

So you live here, too?

[ What, can't a guy worry about his weird captor? ]

[tellthestory]

[literally why would you do that]

Yeah. Not here in this room - [Gesturing at the box office.] - but here.

[trettende]

[ How else would one befriend and manipulate someone if one does not become their friend first? ]

You have your own room? Is it in a wing of the Opera house that the rest of us can't access?

[tellthestory]

You can't get there. And you don't really need to, either...you all get your private rooms, I get mine.

[trettende]

Interesting. It sounds like you're trapped here as well.

[tellthestory]

Not really. I mean, does it count being trapped if there's nowhere else to go?

[trettende]

What do you mean, "nowhere else?" There's outside, isn't there?

[tellthestory]

There aren't any shows going on outside.

[trettende]

Is that all you do, then? Work in these shows? Don't you have, I don't know, a family...?

[tellthestory]

It isn't my job to have a family.

[Which would seem to answer that question, but.] This is my role. I'm the Balladeer. I facilitate...narrate, you could even say, for other people's stories. I'm not supposed to have one of my own.

[trettende]

Is that all you have? Your job?

[ That's... kind of sad, actually. ]

No one's ever written a story about you?

[tellthestory]

There wouldn't be much to tell. Just the work I've done - which would just be other peoples' stories once removed, really.

[So, yeah. That is about all that's going on for him.]

[trettende]

That's a bit lonely, don't you think?

[ Have u no friends, Balladeer? ]

You're here just like the rest of us, yet you don't get to be part of the show?