tellthestory | THE BOX OFFICE

There wouldn't be much to tell. Just the work I've done - which would just be other peoples' stories once removed, really.

[So, yeah. That is about all that's going on for him.]

That's a bit lonely, don't you think?

[ Have u no friends, Balladeer? ]

You're here just like the rest of us, yet you don't get to be part of the show?

I... [The Balladeer seems a little uncomfortable with this line of questioning. He rises from the desk and steps around it to sit in his chair like a proper office worker, elbows resting in front of himself.] Well, it's always been like that for me. It'd be worse if it were someone like one of you having to do this job.

Besides, this is a lot better than my last situation. Management will step in if anyone tries to hurt me. [He smiles, spreading his hands as if to indicate whatever protection surrounds him.] And I've got this office, and my room, all to myself! Heck, I'm safer now than I've ever been!

[His smile turns a little thoughtful. And gosh, is that the faint sound of music?]

Safe behind these windows and these giant walls of stone
Gazing at the people down below me
All my life I watch them as I hide offstage alone
Hungry for the histories they show me

All my life I'll memorize their faces
Knowing them as they will never know me
All my life I'll wonder how it feels to pass a day
Not above them
But part of them...

[...but he shakes his head, denying the crescendo before it can build.]

It's the variety, you know? I'll probably do a totally different show after this, and there'll be more new people to get to know. I like that part.

[ Aw, did Hans find your insecurities, Balladeer? Do you want to be part of the show? ]

That is a pretty good deal.

[ Maybe he wasn't safe in his last gig? All good things to know. ]

But no one remembers you, do they? The narrators take center stage, but top billing goes to the actors. They're the stars.

[ Hans sounds almost sad to say this. He's starting to understand you, Balladeer. Maybe. ]

Is it worth it?

It doesn't matter if it is or isn't. What else am I going to do?

[But he pauses, tilting his head and looking keenly at Hans for a moment.] I don't want to give you the wrong idea, I don't dislike narrating. Some stories should be told, for one reason or another, and that can be rewarding! I think people get something out of it...sometimes.

But at the end of the day, that hope's what I have. Rule Eight applies to me too. Probably more than the rest of you.

["Everyone is expected to play their parts to the best of their ability."]

I see. I suppose if it's your job, you'd want to do it well.

[ I mean, if Hans had actual purpose in life he'd want to do it well, too. He can understand that, if only on a theoretical level. ]

Well, if we're going to be stuck here for a month together, I hope we deliver a good story at least. Even if it turns out the be a tale of people trapped in an opera house for a month without much to do... or however long that lasts.

[ He pauses. He doubts it'll be long, but really, Hans isn't even lying then. He's got his own web of insecurities, too. ]

I suppose I'd rather the tale be narrated by you than go through all this trouble without ever being noticed.

Don't look at it like that. You're...strangers, most of you, brought together by something entirely out of your control. And look at you all - already making friends and building bridges. It'd be easy to turn on each other, stuck in a closed space like this, but you haven't. There's something to that, even if nothing more exciting than a group dinner ever happens here.

That's part of why I was so eager to do this one. This could just as easily be a story about people being good, even when it might benefit them not to be.

[He's definitely talking to the wrong person about that particular subject. But he's waxed on about it enough anyway, so he pulls back.]

Either way, I guess that's nice of you to say. Management would've gotten someone else if not me, but I do hope I can make things a little easier here.

[ Oh no, that's sweet... I mean Hans would betray them all in a second, yes, but he's starting to really understand you, Balladeer. Hans has to admit, he's somewhat surprised. ]

You're rooting for us, aren't you?

[ What a concept. Really, Hans didn't expect that. ]

You've already been helpful, considering what little the management actually lets you do.

Of course I am! Who would root for you all to murder each other?

[Even you wouldn't do that, Hans, it wouldn't benefit you at all.]

I figure if I make things as nice as I can, it's good for everyone. Getting you guys some stuff here and there's no big deal.

Someone with a morbid sense of humor, perhaps.

[ I mean, Hans wouldn't have judged you too hard if that was the case, but yeah, no. Hans would rather solve his problems with lies than with bloodshed. Violence is so uncivilized. ]

That's my thinking too. [ A pause. ] Well, about things being as nice as possible, anyway. Everyone is much easier to deal with when they're happy than when they're on edge.

[ That's the Hans preferred method of manipulation, really. ]

It's true. People are more likely to lash out if they're unhappy, and then we'd just have a whole crop of other problems.

[Like murder investigations, and trials...nasty business.]

Besides, that's just being a good host or something, right?

Right. I imagine an angry cast doesn't make for nearly as good a story. Or good decisions.

[ Only bread dad could hold them back... ]

Well, besides the kidnapping and trapping us here, you've definitely been a good host.

.........no. It doesn't.

[He smiles, shifting conversational gears.]

Glad you think so. A lot of people are really not happy about being stuck in here! I mean, you guys do only have the first floor, but this place seems really cushy to me.

I mean, a lot of people will probably be missed a lot more than I am.

[ Hans shrugs. If he smiles it sounds like a joke, right? He can understand why he's in the minority—but as long as he leaves and gets to marry Anna after all this, he's fine with a random kidnapping. His family sure isn't gonna come running to his aid. ]

It's no palace, but it's not bad. I mean, the communal bathrooms? Not my thing. But otherwise, I pictured kidnapping involving a lot more blindfolds and dark closets than dressing rooms and opera houses.

[ There's a gag tag in there just waiting to happen. ]

Edited (phone tag hell) 2016-10-22 05:11 (UTC)

Hm. Some, sure.

[He's not here to give everyone spoilers about their castmates, but look you're not the lone terrible person or anything Hans]

I would've thought you'd want back for your own sake, not because of anyone you'd left behind. But I get it. [.....] And yeah, the bathroom thing's not great. Don't think this place was built with the thought that actors would be living here full-time.

Ha! Please. If I vanished, I'd be doing my family a favor. That's the last thing I want to do.

[ Clearly, they need to have more backstory talk around here. ]

Obviously. I take it there aren't single bathrooms in the other floors?

Edited (reworded the question to sound better ) 2016-10-22 05:59 (UTC)

Nah. They are a little nicer, since patrons could access them, but they don't have showers or any of that.

So, what, you want to go home out of spite? [He's not totally judging, your family sounds shitty.]

[ Where do you shower, Balladeer...? ]

At this point? Yes.

[ Spite has brought Hans to Arendelle, it can certainly pull him out of this. ]

Ideally, I'd be going home and marrying Anna. But if she changes her mind, well... I can't stop her. [ His voice dips a bit, cold. ] Much as I'd like to.

[ Alas, murdering Anna without any proof of their engagement wouldn't help him get the throne at all.... He sighs. He doesn't have to go on, but the dude kinda tends to monolog once you get him started. ]

She's got an older sister, anyway. She might be cold, but I have options.

[In the staff section, man, you lot aren't ever getting back there.

The Balladeer sighs. It's not like he doesn't know Hans is kind of terrible, but it's a bit of a drag to be reminded of it. This is like the only person who ever talks to him, is he just a magnet for this?]

Haven't you got anything else to do?

[ Sorry, man, just being honest here. The fact that he's telling you is because you're friends! ]

I mean, I guess? But I've kind of hit the end of my rope with my family. If I don't marry soon, they'll send me off to the military or the seminary.

[ Try to picture Hans. As a priest. He shrugs, though there's a hint of desperation in his voice. ]

I'm thirteenth in line. Women aren't exactly lining up to be with a guy who inherits nothing.

Edited (all the Prince with none of the benefits, that's hans) 2016-10-23 04:43 (UTC)

...I thought you were in the navy...

[isn't that a naval uniform you had OKAY NOT THE POINT]

Is that really how it is? You can't just go off and...start your own life somewhere?

I mean permanently. They won't let me come back.

[ Mandatory service is not "go swab a deck till we hear that you've drowned or something! Look, I didn't write the weird spin-off novel... ]

I'd be a disgrace. I'd be everything my father and brothers have said I'd be.

[ His issues run deep. He means every word he says: ]

I'd be nothing.

[The Balladeer rests his elbows on his desk, folding his hands together and leaning forward to rest his chin on them thoughtfully.]

Honestly, I don't know why you'd want to go back anyway. They don't sound like people you'd want to spend time with.

Are you doing this - [You know, all this Arendelle shit] - because you think it'll actually make you happy, or just to make them think better of you?

I... [ Hans seems to consider this for all of five seconds before he responds, automatic, like he's been telling himself this for years and years. ] Of course I do. I'll be happy when they acknowledge me.

[ Won't he? Hans can't really be sure... but he has to be. That's what he was taught. It has to be true. ]

It's not like I have anywhere else to go. They're all I have.

[ And there's your problem, Hans. But hey, family's family! ]

Edited (phone tag hell) 2016-10-24 03:37 (UTC)

...I don't...

[The Balladeer cocks his head for a moment, frowning, as if collecting his thoughts.]

You know I don't have a family, so tell me if I'm out of line. But if you have to do all that just to get a shot at acknowledgement, it's not really going to happen. Not the way you want it to. Thinking you're...useful isn't the same thing as actually caring.

You've got a whole world of possibilities open to you, Hans. You really do. There's probably a million things out there that would end up making you happy.

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