tellthestory | THE BOX OFFICE

[The Balladeer has the book from earlier resting on the desk in front of him, but as Hans takes a seat he flips it shut and smiles brightly. Normally, this is very genuine, but today there's something harder behind it.]

Gee, I don't know. What made you ask me for a murder bribe within twenty minutes of meeting me?

[he called you out on that at the time, but he's gonna do it again, because who does that]

[ Hans.... had that coming. He puts his face in his hands with a groan. Come on, man, cut him some slack. ]

It wasn't a... "murder bribe." I just--

[ Ooh, this is tricky. But the Balladeer knows what he's like, right? He seems to. Hans takes a gloved hand to his temple, rubbing the tension out of it (it's not working.) ]

Look, I don't want to die here. But I don't want to kill anyone if I can help it, either. That's the truth. [ Murder is Very Inconvenient. ] But I am interested in getting out of here sooner than later, so, yes, I might have... asked if there was a way to speed things along.

[ He clears his throat. He's feeling so attacked today. ]

But it wasn't a bribe. Just a hypothetical. [ Ehhhh, but he's being honest here so let's be real. ] Mostly hypothetical.

Edited 2016-10-19 04:35 (UTC)

I know what it was.

[But whatever anger was bolstering him is quick to drain away. He drops his gaze, fiddling with one corner of his book.]

Look, I did help out with the playbills. I know you would kill someone for the right price, and I'm pretty sure I know what that could be. So all I'm going to say is that murderers really will get executed if they're caught, and nothing is going to change that. [He meets Hans's gaze again.] It's a risk.

[ What's in the ~~box~~ book, Balladeer?? ]

I understand. [ Huh. Wait, is he. Actually worried? Hans looks away, almost feeling scolded. His eyes catch on the book, but he says nothing for now. ] I'll be more careful from now on.

[ Whether the Balladeer is worried or not, Hans is actually a bit touched. No one who really knows him has ever shown him any concern, so you'll have to forgive the slight awe that tinged his voice. ]

Right now Anna is my ticket at home: I need her. Alive. You understand why that risk isn't worth it for me right now.

[ For reasons the Balladeer must know. Hans sighs. He's so not used to people knowing he's awful. It's Weird. ]

There's really no way out of here unless someone gets murdered, is there?

[The Balladeer is making absolutely no effort to obscure the book, so it's actually fairly easy to get a look at the cover! It appears to be a collection of fairy tales.]

It can't go on forever. If things just keep on like this, they're gonna have to call it sometime.

But...yeah, they're pushing this murder rule harder than I thought they would. [He leans back in his chair, folding his arms.] I tried to tell them I didn't think we needed to, but that did noooot fly.

I don't imagine it'll be long. I'm sure there's people here more desperate than I am.

[ But if anything he sounds worried about that. Hopefully no one's going to try to kill him in his sleep or some nonsense. ]

I thought as much. Some stories don't happen organically... they often need a push to really get started. [ He pauses, distancing himself from that line of thinking. It's not his job to narrate, but neither is it the Balladeer's to care. ] At least you asked. That was kind of you.

[ Stories like the ones the Balladeer is reading, perhaps? Hans leans forward, making a show of glancing at his book. ]

Catching up on your fairy tales?

This? [The Balladeer glances down at it, then pushes it across the table for Hans to see.] It's just a prop. Fairy tales and wishes, you know, I guess it seemed fitting.

[He considers, then nods as if conceding.] Aaaand it's nice to have something to read.

The inspiration for your song earlier?

[ Huh. You just get curiouser and curiouser, Balladeer. Hans gives the book a once-over. Despite his role in one, Hans isn't super big on fairy tales. He's much better at reading people anyway. ]

They don't give you much to do here, do they? The Management.

Sort of a common problem around here, isn't it?

[It's a pretty standard book of fairy tales. Jack and the Beanstalk, Rapunzel, stuff like that. There is one that Hans probably won't recognize, but it's just about a childless baker (and his wife), pretty standard fairy tale fare.]

But yeeeeah, it's kinda my own fault. I've never done a show with quite this much downtime built in, I didn't realize it was going to be so boring in here.

Maybe I can whip something up to pass the time, then.

[ I mean it's better than murder tbqh, that shit makes it real hard to get people on your side. And at least Hans isn't going to get eaten or crushed by giants, right? ]

Yet you sounded kind of down earlier, when you gave the announcement.

[ Hans even bothers to sound worried. I mean they're basically almost friends now. ]

Is something wrong?

Edited (icon) 2016-10-22 03:41 (UTC)

[Well you know what, he appreciates the effort]

I just didn't care to be giving that announcement. Creative differences with management, I guess. We've mostly agreed on everything else up to now...

[ Keep being useful (I mean it's practically your job) and you'll have a friend in Hans, Balladeer. ]

Would you have worded it differently, then? Or is this about them wanting to bribe people into getting things going?

[ Okay, you know what, he does feel guilty about that one. It was definitely a murder bribe. ]

I just don't see the point. You all want to go home so badly - that seems like plenty of motivation. There's no reason to go tacking things onto it, adding little rewards for murderers. And with a time limit!

[He seems to realize he's gotten a little worked up, and makes a visible effort to calm down.]

I'm...sure they know what they're doing, but it isn't what I would have done.

[ Preaching to the choir here, Balladeer. Hans would have gotten desperate enough eventually, offering rewards is just tacky. ]

It's just ridiculous at this point.

[ He nods, totally reaching to try and pat the Balladeer's arm in camaraderie. ]

You're putting a lot of trust in them. Have they done this kind of thing before?

[...you get sort of a weird look for that, Hans, but he'll allow it.]

No, it's new for all of us. I think the word used was "experimental".

But they've done good by me as long as I've known them, and they didn't have to put me in a new show so fast. If they trust me that much, then...

[Then he ought to return the courtesy, right?]

[ No worries, bro, Hans pulls back. You seem to have reined in those pesky feelings of yours. ]

Yeah, I can understand that.

[ Benefit of the doubt and all. He usually yields as much, and look at how far that got him!! ~~Every single dignitary that said he should take the throne betrayed him but shh don't tell him that.~~ ]

So what happens if someone does decide to kill someone? And gets away with it, I mean. Has the management decided what happens if someone gets away with murder?

...they have, yeah.

[well here are those feelings again, he does not look at ease with this]

If someone decides to kill, they're pitting themselves against all the rest of you. That's why it's important for you to catch them - aside from just bringing them to justice.

[ Feelings are killer, man. Does the Balladeer have something against the risk? Or just the fact that this proposed killer would be betraying them all? Interesting... ]

19 against 1 is pretty poor odds.

[ Wait, the gears in Hans pretty, mutton-chopped head are turning here. His face goes pale with realization. ]

...If someone wins, we all lose, don't we?

[ "Lose" sounds so much better than die. ]

...yeah.

[He won't say it if you won't, friend]

I think the idea's that otherwise, you might just decide to let them go. Maybe no one cared enough about the victim, or maybe you all just thought the killer should get a pass home.

That's... I can see that.

[ It'd be a cheap shot, but someone self-sacrificing enough could give their life to set them all free. Or the group could pity the killer for the right sob story. People are easy to manipulate like that.

Hans is not enjoying this news btw. Give him a minute to regain his eloquence. ]

19 deaths all to save yourself... Even I have to admit that's pretty awful.

[ Would he do it for a kingdom? If he didn't need Anna, or... well, the odds wouldn't be in his favor. It's not worth it, not like this. ]

Gosh, you make it sound like you have standards!

[He's joking; it's actually something of a relief to hear Hans express a sentiment like that. Even if, maybe, it isn't entirely true? But he'll shelve his instinctive wariness.]

That's why it's so important for you all to not go down that path at all. Once blood's spilled here, there's no getting out of it without at least one more death. And...I don't want to risk all of you dying at once. The rules are really strict around anything murder-related, I wouldn't be able to do anything to point you towards the real killer.

[ I mean kill one dude, okay. Kill a queen? Well, she was kinda freezing everybody. Plus that hasn't happened yet so he's still working the marriage angle. Death is only convenient when it's convenient. Lying is so much easier! ]

I have standards! Just, y'know, loose ones.

[ That largely revolve around himself, anyway ]

So two people will die even if we catch the killer... what happens at the end of the month? Will our numbers dwindle down to nothing?

If people keep on committing murders, I guess they will. You might be able to still wait it out after one murder, but...

...I don't know, it's different after it's already happened once. Everyone will know it could still happen again.

THE BOX OFFICE

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