That's how it's always been.

[ It's kind of all he knows. This conversation has clearly opened some mental pathways but he's still resistant to change. For now. He can't just decide his whole life's goal has been meaningless overnight. What do mean, being useful isn't the same as being loved? ]

I don't kn... nothing else would make me happy. This is it. I'll show them I'm not just the thirteenth son and then my father will have to take notice of me.

[ He doesn't sound as sure as before, but his conviction is still there, somehow. ]